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Beckett’s Last Mixtape – Chapter Five

ANTHO

 

Judge Roberts looks like my father. This is not a good thing.

Courtrooms are not what they look like on TV, or at least this one isn’t. It’s mostly off-white, with dark paneling at the judge’s bench and witness stand, and the Seal of the State of Arizona hanging behind him. Despite the fact that the ceiling isn’t two stories tall or that the floor is dark, polished wood does not make the space any less intimidating. My heart squeezes behind my ribs like a hand around a tennis ball.

Judge Roberts has asked me a question and is now waiting for me. So is everyone else.

I better make this good. This ain’t—

This isn’t a speech tournament. Lose there, and you don’t get a plaque. Lose here, and I’ll spend freshman year in the Maricopa County jail.

I clear my throat, wipe my hands on the thighs of my best navy blue dress pants, and stand.

“Yes I do, Your Honor.”

With that, I stride to the podium on my side of the room. I can see my lawyer, Mr. Goldsen, is both nervous and confident. He’s honestly not a lot older than me, by the look of him. My parents have known his parents for a long time. They play golf and tennis together at the club.

Judge Roberts sits back in his chair and appears to rock back and forth, holding a pen between his index fingers. He’s just asked if I have anything to say for myself, as Mr. Goldsen had said he probably would.

I have no note cards, nothing written down. This is extemporaneous speaking at it’s . . . what? Best? Finest? Most important?

Here we go:

“First of all, thank you for the opportunity to speak, Your Honor. I appreciate the consideration being shown me.”

He arches an eyebrow.

“Secondly . . . to be clear, I do accept responsibility for what I’ve done. It was a bad choice, and I do want to extend my apologies to Joe—uh, Mr. Bishop—for the harm I caused. I also want to apologize to my family and friends for putting them through this ordeal.”

The judge either nods, or rocks in his chair.

“I won’t try to excuse what I did, Your Honor, but I do wish to say that when it comes to my family and my friends, I am very protective. I’ve known Ashley Dixon most of my life. She’s like a sister to me. So when it was clear that someone had—by the definition of the law, Your Honor—had sexually assaulted her, I lost my cool and I reacted inappropriately. And while I certainly won’t let that happen again, I need to tell Ashley’s parents right here and now that I will always be there for her, and I will always do my best to protect her. If that protection has consequences, then I accept them.

“But again, Your Honor, if I ever face another situation like this, and I sincerely hope that I will not, then I will behave in a manner commensurate with the situation.”

Judge Roberts drops his pen on the desk and yanks his eyeglasses off. “Did you just say ‘commensurate’?”

“Um . . . yes, Your Honor.”

“And you’re how old again?”

“Almost fifteen, sir.”

He snaps his glasses back into place. “Go on.”

“That’s all I have, sir. Thank you.”

“I have to say, Mr. Lincoln, you are without a doubt the most eloquent and well-spoken fourteen-year-old I’ve ever met in this courthouse. In fact you may be the most eloquent and well-spoken person I’ve ever met in this courthouse.”

There’s a mild chuckle behind me from all the people here. They shut up when the judge shoots them a look.

“I don’t suppose you plan on becoming a lawyer.”

“As a matter of fact, yes, I do, Your Honor.”

He picks up some papers and snaps them with his hand to get them to stand straight on their own. “Straight As in junior high. You just started high school at . . . Camelback?”

“In August, yes sir.”

“Mmm-hmm. What are you taking?”

I struggle to remember my schedule. “Um . . . integrated math, honors English, speech one, business keyboarding, French, and earth science.”

“Speech? Are you competing? National Forensics?”

“Yes, sir, two weeks ago there was an AIA practice tournament.”

“How did you do, Mr. Lincoln?”

It is very hard not to smile. “First place in extemp debate, sir.”

“Well done, Mr. Lincoln.”

I force myself to be cool, and nod my thanks. I’ll start bragging if I open my mouth, and that feels like a poor idea right now.

“What about your extra-curriculars?” he asks.

“Speech and drama club, Your Honor. Masque & Gavel.”

“No athletics?”

“No, sir.”

The judge stares at the papers for a long moment before setting them down and pulling his glasses off again. “Mr. Lincoln, for the record, I want you to acknowledge that I have every right to sentence you to a jail term. Do you understand?”

My heart skips. “Yes, sir.”

“I also intend to make sure a young man of your caliber doesn’t step foot in this building again until you’re trying your first case.”

My heart resumes. Maybe—maybe—I pulled this off.

“I understand, Your Honor.”

“It is the order of this court,” he says, “that you serve one hundred hours of community service and attend not less than twenty hours of anger management classes and counselling. I’m also recommending without enforcement that you find a good sport or two to work out whatever aggression you’ve got to work out. Is that understood?”

Someone behind me lets out a breath like they’ve been holding it. I think it’s Mom. Or Dad. Or maybe Mr. Goldsen.

“Yes, Your Honor!”

“And finally, Mr. Lincoln, make no mistake. If you ever appear before me again for a charge of this nature, I will make it my business to ensure you won’t hurt anyone else for a very long time. Understood?”

“Yes, sir!”

“Very well. I’ll see you in about ten years, defending or prosecuting your first case. Court adjourned.”

He banges his gavel, and that’s that.

I’m not going to jail.

This time.

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Keep Your Notes – They Might Form a Book Someday

I love all the kids in my debut novel Party, of course. And there is a little bit of me in each one of them. But I feel the most for Morrigan. My heart breaks for her.

I think it’s because she was based on a character I created who was an imagined child of mine.

Yeah. True story.

This is a mockup of promo material for the film version of Party, now called Butterflies. That’s Morrigan…and if you’ve read the book, you know that’s about how her night ends!

I was dating someone and got to thinking about what our kids might be like. I smiled as I thought about it, and started writing a short little scene. In the scene, our kid — an only child, by the way! — was a teenager. A girl. And she and I were on our back patio having a conversation.

As happens often when I write, I lost track entirely of the story and just surfed the wave of inspiration. I felt invigorated when I was finished, and CTRL+HOME’d back to the top of the doc and started reading.

My jaw slowly dropped.

Our kid was in bad shape. I didn’t even know I was writing it like that. Far from being some tender, bucolic scene of heartfelt emotion, the scene was dark and broody and kind of unpleasant.

Worst — I didn’t come off too well in it.

That was the day I knew the relationship wasn’t going to go the distance. I was right. (Thankfully for both of us.)

 

Commissioned fan art of Morry

So Morrigan was in many ways the first character to come to life in Party. When I had the idea to throw a bunch of dissimilar kids into a situation and see what happened, I knew the girl in that scene was going to be a part of it.

None of the actual words in that scene ended up in the published novel, but that’s her, no question.

Morrigan just wants to be seen. In particular by her dad. I know that feeling from both sides of it now. I try to remind myself of what happens to kids who get dismissed by their parents, and work harder at not letting that happen in my house.

Morrigan’s a good kid at heart. She really is.

 

In this homework assignment from an English class, it’s clear the student has very specific ideas about Morrigan….

I’m excited to see where she ends up in my new serialized novel, FADE INTO YOU, in which I pluck the characters from Party and plant them into the world of Zero – early 1990’s Phoenix in stead of early 2000’s Santa Barbara. She won’t be exactly the same — none of the characters will — but she’ll still be Morry, that sassy little brat who desperately seeks a connection to people.

So desperately it gets her into trouble from time to time,

But then, that’s where good stories come from, isn’t it?

If you’d like an e-book copy of PARTY, just head to my author website and I’ll email you one right away!

And if you want to learn more about the exclusive serial FADE INTO YOU, head over to patreon.com/tomleveen.

Talk to you soon,
take care,
~ Tom

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Is YA Bad For Your Kids?

This is taken from an online interview I gave about YA Lit:

Q: What do you say to a parent who thinks that reading YA lit will corrupt their kids?

 

Then the parents need to read more YA.

 

But they have to step into their own teenage shoes first. Books don’t corrupt teens, adults do. I mean, let’s take a phenomenal book like SPEAK by Laurie Halse Anderson, which critics wrongly said is “about date rape.” (It’s not, it is about depression.) No teen is going to read that book and go, “Hey, I should date-rape girls!” No one will read THE OUTSIDERS and say, “Gangs are cool! I should stab someone!” YA authors and editors are fierce defenders of teenagers—with our time, our words, our money, everything. That’s more than many parents can say, I’m afraid.



 

Q: What advice would you give to parents of a 12 or 13-year-old about YA books (and video re-imaginings)? Should parents get involved?  If so, at what point–selection, screening, pre-reading, vetoing, post-reading discussion?

 

Let them read anything, eventually. Censoring our kids’ reading isn’t helping them, but only each family can determine what’s appropriate and what’s not. But this idea of keeping books away from kids is unforgivable utter nonsense. Why would a parent waste this golden opportunity to read a book with (or before) their kid and see what conversations come out of it?

There have been reading groups at schools and libraries where one kid won’t participate for months, even years . . . then suddenly one day, that kid will start talking about she really feels for Melinda in SPEAK, or Morrigan in PARTY, or Tyler in manicpixiedreamgirl. Why the sudden talking? Because that book hit a chord in that kid’s life, and now the kid has a way to talk about it without giving herself away. As a parent, why toss away one single tool in your parenting toolkit?

Take them to bookstores! Ask them which ones look like they’d be interesting reads. Talk to the booksellers, they know their stuff.

Video is another thing entirely, because video—anything on a screen—impacts us differently than the written word. Anything happening to us from kindergarten through high school is going to be in our heads for the rest of our lives. Every time a grownup says “You can’t,” or “You’re stupid,” or “You suck,” or “You’re a bad boy/girl,” that stuff sticks for a very long time.

I gave a TEDx talk about this: Can you name your first grade teacher? Who you went to prom with? What your first car was? Yes, yes, and yes, because our brains are built to do that, to hold onto information as it develops. Ergo, I do tend to think that policing our kids’ screen time is important, as well as what is on those screens. Instead, cram those brains full of books. No child was ever harmed by the not-watching of a video.

 

Q: YA lit covers lots of territory in terms of genre and maturity level. Is there good and bad YA, or just a lot of variety?

 

There is “bad” YA in terms of quality of writing perhaps, but that is so, so, so objective as to be rendered a meaningless discussion. Some of my books are viscerally hated by some readers, and some readers have re-read those same books until the pages fell out. There’s simply no accounting for taste and opinion. We’ve all read a best-seller or award-winner and thought, “Really? Really, though? This?

In terms of good and bad for kids? I don’t think so; there really is just that much variety. Dr. James Blasingame at Arizona State University, the Yoda of YA literature, says there is a book for every teenager, and I believe that. This is why we need trained librarians (and, you know, libraries) in our schools and communities. They make a huge, positive difference in the lives of teens.

It’s also important to understand the author’s intent when choosing a book. One of my author friends writes, shall we say, “fluffy” romances, where there will be a kiss at the end between a male and female. Is that wrong? Bad? Nope, it’s what they write, and I love many of those books because they are well written, well plotted, and a lot of fun to read. They are just different from a book like ZERO or RANDOM, where my style is to not pull any punches when it comes to what some teens are going through.

I’m after a different theme than my friend, and our styles reflect that. Neither of us is better or worse than the other, and both have their place in the development of teens into adults. Sometimes you need a fluffy romance, sometimes you need zombies invading your high school.

 

Ready for more? Climb the tree.