Tag: encouragement

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Craft

But Do You Love It More Than Showers?

Listen, just you and me now, some real talk about this industry of writing and publishing fiction. This is not about why you should write; it’s about WHY YOU ARE WRITING.

I had an author friend of mine, many years ago say “You have to love it more than showers.” And people teased her for saying that. She didn’t mean it literally, obviously it’s a metaphor.

But it underscores a very, very important truth that I want all of you to grasp and understand and inhabit:

You have to love this if you want to do it on a professional level.

(This is my lived reality, yours may be very different.)

The reality is you do have to love this. You have to make this your life ambition. If you can see yourself doing something else for 40 hours a week or more, then you should probably go do that thing.

Golf or macrame or surfing or sewing or walking dogs or doing comic books or playing fucking role playing games or video games or talking about science or…

The thing that you get up in the morning and say, oh, I get to go do this. That is the thing you should pursue. If that thing isn’t writing, if that thing isn’t publishing, if that thing isn’t going indie or going trad or trying to do a hybrid, then…

Don’t.

I’ve said this in multiple ways on multiple platforms and I’m going to keep banging this drum because fundamentally my goal at FictionMentor isn’t necessarily for you to write the best book you can. (We will talk about that. I will make videos and I will post blogs and I will do all that shit to help you write the best book you can. Absolutely. I want you to do that.)

But I only want you to do it in the context of, is there something else you want to be doing? Because if there is, go fucking do that. I give you permission to go pursue the thing you want.

Because my brothers and sisters, this is the only shot you get. This is your only life. And what I do not want to see is you spending a year or two years or 10 years or 50 years on this fucking 10-book fucking series or whatever. And it never goes anywhere and it just sits on your hard drive. You never try to do anything with it. Or if you do, it just fails completely because your metric for success wasn’t met (which is a completely different topic).

And now what? Like, if that was time you could have spent playing tennis and that’s what really revs your engine, then go play tennis. Go do that.

The thing about “you have to love it more than showers,” again, metaphorically here, is that is the level of commitment that it takes to make this work…based on your metric of success.

That’s the other thing that we need to talk about. What is your metric of success? I’m only just now figuring mine. After decades of doing the work, I’m just now starting to piece it together. What do you actually want from this? Is using finance the best way to gauge whether a project is successful or not? Because maybe it’s not.

Maybe my only metric for this particular project is did I like it? Did I have fun doing it?

Let’s pretend I get an unseemly amount of money for a licensing deal. Cool. You know what I’m gonna do tomorrow?

Write a book.

Because I love it more than showers.

Published author asks, if you can do something else, should you?

Because that is fundamentally who I am. It is my identity. It’s who I’ve always been. That’s who I’m always gonna be. I’m gonna be a storyteller. I don’t have to worry about whether it sells or not.

I’m not necessarily saying that you have to have that level of commitment or that you’re that in love with the craft, but, man, if you don’t, why are you doing it?

If you don’t love it, if it’s not motivating you, if the love of the craft, if the love of the story isn’t motivating you, then I would have a serious sit-down with yourself and make sure you’re not hiding from some other thing that will be more fulfilling for you.

I never want to dissuade people from writing. What I want to encourage, rather, is that you are serious and honest with yourself about writing and storytelling, and that you’re doing it in a way that brings you joy and fulfillment, because that may be the only thing you get out of it.

I have all kinds of, what they call trunk novels. They’re books that I’ve written that are locked away forever. They will never see the light of day. But I enjoyed doing them, and they brought me joy. And that was not wasted time.

The point of this conversation is that I do not want you to waste time.

I don’t get to decide, though, what wasting time looks like. That is up to you to determine.

I very rarely wasted time writing. There are exceptions, but for the most part, every word I’ve ever written, I’ve enjoyed doing it, and I’ve gotten joy from it. I just want you to set your goals, your expectations, and your metrics for success and then decide if you’re meeting them or not. And if you’re not, is it time to look for something else? Is it time to do something that’s more fulfilling?

I don’t know. I’m not being prescriptive. That is up for you to decide. Take care. And, of course, keep writing.

If you want to.

Get 52 weekly emails over the course of a year diving into the art, business, and craft of writing and publishing fiction at https://pxllnk.co/52fm

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Uncategorized

Life Happens. It’s not always “writer’s block.”

Writing and Life: Why They’re Inseparable for Authors

We can’t talk about being an author without talking about life.

You’re not a writer just between 6 a.m. and 7 a.m., hammering out words before the kids wake up. Or between 11 p.m. and 1 a.m., stealing time after your partner goes to bed.

You’re a writer 24/7.

Every moment of every day, you’re soaking in experiences, emotions, and observations, all of which might eventually fuel your stories. Writing doesn’t live in a box—it’s interwoven with life itself.

At FictionMentor.com, this philosophy has been a cornerstone since day one. Sure, there’s no shortage of books and courses out there focused on the craft of writing. Many are excellent, and I recommend them often. But here’s the problem: when we hyper-focus on craft, we risk divorcing writing from two essential aspects of the journey:

  1. The business of being an author.
  2. The life that fuels creativity.

This separation does a disservice to us as creators. Life is messy, chaotic, and unpredictable. And it’s that very chaos that fuels creativity. Trying to isolate your writing from the rest of your life—to protect it or keep it “pure”—is not only unrealistic, it’s counterproductive.

Writer’s Block vs. Life

I’ve often said that writer’s block is a myth. It’s our job to keep writing, to push through, to figure it out. But there’s an important distinction to make:

  • Writer’s block is when you’re stuck on what happens next in your story.
  • “I can’t do this right now” is when life gets in the way—temporarily or permanently.

These are two very different things.

I’ve seen this play out in my own life and in the lives of my author friends. One friend, who achieved incredible success with multiple bestselling books, hit a point where he just stopped writing.

Not because he didn’t have ideas. Not because he didn’t have the skill. But because he was done.

Writing wasn’t serving him anymore, and he stepped away. On one hand, it’s heartbreaking. On the other, if he’s happier and healthier now, then that’s good.

Another friend has been wrestling with a book in a genre that isn’t “hot” in the current market. She’s deeply frustrated with the process and the industry. Some days, she’s at peace with taking a step back. Other days, she’s overwhelmed by a sense of loss.

This isn’t writer’s block. This is life.

Writing and Life Balance for Authors

Accidents happen. Illnesses happen. Relationships shift. Jobs change. Life throws curveballs all the time. And sometimes, it makes writing feel impossible. When that happens, it’s okay to take a break.

If you find yourself questioning not just your writing but your worth as a human being because of setbacks, please step back. Seek help if you need it. Reassess. Take time to heal. Nothing is worth sacrificing your mental health or your safety—not even your art.

(“Tortured artist” is another bullshit myth that needs killing.)

The stories you want to tell are important, but you are more important. We need your voice, but we also need you to be healthy enough to share it.

The Stress of Passion

I spent 22 years in theater, 16 of those running my own companies. It was stressful—juggling rehearsals, budgets, ticket sales, marketing, and actor drama. We weren’t often getting paid, and we poured our own money into productions, praying each show would fund the next one.

Me, in “An Impending Rupture of the Belly” with Stray Cat Theatre in Phoenix.

But here’s the thing: I loved it.

That stress, while intense, was good stress. It was the kind of challenge you take on willingly because you love what you do.

Writing is the same. It can be stressful—agonizing over the craft, worrying about industry trends, or questioning your skill level—but most of the time, that stress is what fuels your passion.

But sometimes, that stress crosses a line into being unhealthy. When that happens, you need to recognize it and step back. Nothing—not deadlines, not the dream of publishing, not your own expectations—is worth your health.

Keep Writing… When You’re Ready

If you’re frustrated with a plot hole or stuck on a character arc, that’s the kind of “writer’s block” you can push through with time, effort, and maybe some brainstorming with fellow writers. That’s part of the process.

But if you’re feeling crushed by the weight of life, the industry, or your own expectations, take a break. Regroup. Come back when you’re ready.

We need your stories. But more importantly, we need you. Healthy, whole, and ready to share your unique voice with the world.

Remember: you’re not just a writer during your designated writing hours. You’re a writer all the time, living a life rich with experiences that fuel your creativity. So live your life. Let it be messy and beautiful and chaotic. And when you’re ready, bring it back to the page.

Let’s keep the conversation going. What’s your biggest struggle when it comes to balancing writing and life? Drop a comment or connect with me on social media—I’d love to hear from you.

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Uncategorized

When? Now.

This image is a composite of all the pages of my first comic book, Beckett’s Last Mixtape, which will be launching soon on Kickstarter.

I spent a lot of money on this. I don’t know if anyone will want it.

But I’ll have a comic book based on one of my favorite characters from Party.

Totally worth it.

It was worth it when I blew thousands of dollars to produce Ray Bradbury’s Fahrenheit 451 stage play for Chyro Arts Venue.

It was worth it driving to the tiny, antique town of Jerome with my wife a few weeks ago. Just for a few hours. (We found a great place for breakfast, and great place for fudge!)

That thing you want to do? Do it. Start today if you haven’t.

Dammit all, this is our only shot! Seize the day and all that. I don’t mean go skydiving or get a second mortgage to afford that European trip (although both of those are legitimate and entirely up to you).

That thing that sets your hair on fire. Do that.

You’ll be happier, and the world around you will be better for it.

Don’t wait.

Take care, be safe,
~ Tom

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Uncategorized

How To Forge Your Own Joy

What image comes to mind when you read the word “forge?”